I hate shopping. I hate holiday shopping even more. Worst of all, I hate working in a department store during the holidays. I came to the conclusion long ago that I am the only woman on the planet to ever admit that I can't stand shopping or anything to do with shopping. I'm an in and out kind of gal. Point and click, grab and go. I know what I want before I even enter the store. If I can't find it, I leave. The end. Go home. When in doubt, I would much rather order online or shop at night---very late at night---or better yet, not at all. It makes sense then, that I should know the inside out of the male mind when it comes to holiday shopping.

Most guys would rather not. In fact, a lot of them don't. Needless to say, there are a heck of a lot of single men and women on the rebound come January. If you shack up with someone on New Years Eve, chances are it's a woman who didn't receive a Christmas gift from her boyfriend or a guy who probably isn't worth the trouble.

I am pleasantly surprised however, at the number of married men who approach me at work and ask my advice on what to get their wives. A few men have even braved the possibility of a twelve-hour shopping trip with their spouse simply to trail obediently along and take notes on everything she touches. What is even more amazing is that these same men will then enter a department store of their own accord and proceed to ask a female employee for help! Perhaps I'm right in assuming once again that life in my family has never been exactly as it should have been.

With the help of a few examples from the married fellas, I've compounded a list of the myths/truths of holiday shopping for the single guys who may be feeling quite helpless around this time of year.

5. THE STORES ARE TOO CROWDED -- There is a simple solution. Find a 24 hour Wal-Mart. Enter at 2 a.m. Shop to your little heart's-content. So maybe that simple solution isn't always simple for most of us, but I will continuously tout the benefits of shopping online. You can order from most major department stores with a credit/check card and have items shipped directly to you. Many of the items in the store are available online. Now that's a simple solution.

4. PRICES ALWAYS GO DOWN AT THE LAST MINUTE -- This one is for all of you frugal (see tight-wad) boyfriends out there who would rather buy on Christmas Eve than spend a few extra bucks on your girlfriend. Just so you know, the 'cheap zones' for Christmas shopping exist only before Black Friday and after January 1st. Most prices will stay the same once the busy season hits but some stores are guilty of severe price gouging. Locations with mainly male-centered markets such as jewelry stores really know how to cash in on the last-minute shopper stereotype. The instant the duck is devoured, the prices drop. So, unless you're planning on buying your lady a puppy, you might want to think about doing your holiday shopping in January.

3. I KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS -- Okay, so the pink and green turtleneck sweater she gave you last year was a crappy gift. Even if she knitted it herself, it still wasn't worth the 14 karat gold bracelet on which you spent your last arm and leg. Perhaps this is a hint to take your cues from her. If she's the type that would spend all her free time knitting you a pair of socks, then maybe what she's looking for in return is not flash and expense. You're gonna hate me for saying it but, chicks dig effort. Anything you do that makes you look like you went the extra mile chalks up another mark in your favor. The only thing you can really do is assume you know absolutely nothing about what she wants, swallow your pride and take notes. Be James Bond. Tag along on her next shopping trip and make a mental note of everything she looks at. Ask her friends to give you ideas. If all else fails, ask her mother. Make a list. Take it to a store. If you can't find something or get stumped, ask a female employee to help you out. Just today a gentleman approached me and asked about a jogging suit his wife tried on a few weeks ago. He said she was told that they were being taken back into the stock room for a few weeks and now his wife wished she had bought the suit when it was available. He told me he even wrote down the brand name but left the paper at home. In my book that still gets major points for effort. It turned out that the suit was still available for sale but there was no room for it on the floor. If he hadn't asked, he never would have gotten the suit.

2. I CAN ALWAYS DO IT LATER -- The question is, will you? Many times my father would have been empty-handed on Christmas morning if it hadn't been for me or my brother doing his shopping for him. Procrastination is the worst thing you could do around the holidays. If you feel you have absolutely no time for shopping, get online. All of the i-stores will ship items directly to your doorstep (or to someone else's if mum's the word), and some even offer free gift-wrapping. Plus, the prices are usually lower than they are in your brick 'n' mortar stores. For a truly unique gift or a mate to something she already has, check out the auction sites.

1. I CAN'T AFFORD SOMETHING NICE -- Learn to knit. Trust me, she would love wool panties if you made them yourself. The best things in life truly are free. That goes double for Christmas. Give the gift of time.... quality time. Make a plan. Type up a schedule. Wrap it up in a box. Put the box under the tree. Follow the schedule after she unwraps it. For example: give her flowers, sing her a carol, take her to a movie, and drive around to see all the lights. Go sledding, build a snowman and end the evening by cooking her a nice dinner with all the fixings. Even if you burn everything and you both end up eating microwave dinners she will still be happier than if you spent a thousand dollars on jewelry.

If she isn't, maybe you should plan to go solo on New Years Eve.